Genius.
Mariah: I cannot cut this! *waves fork at pizza rolls*
Me: *cuts them in half*
Mariah: *lets out a huge gasp* MOMMY! YOU ARE A GENIUS! OH, MOMMY!
There you have it, folks. According to my three year old, I’m a GENIUS. B-)
Sadly, that was the highlight of my day.
Want to know why? Because today I had the (QUICK, MEN. LOOK AWAY.) worst freaking cramps EVER. To the point where they were making me feel ill. And bitchy. And made my long to curl on my super soft couch with my heating pad. But I pulled through. Because I had a mission: I had to go grocery shopping. Our rations were getting to the point where I was opening my cabinets and sobbing, so off we went to Woodmans. I dropped about $120, but it was well worth it. Towards the end, I got lazy and started skipping aisles because I seriously felt like I was going to be sick. Visions of “Billy, clean up on aisle 6!” over the loud speaker kept flashing through my head, so I tried to hurry along the best I could. Finally, I was finished and my dad generously loaded the groceries and Gabriel and Mariah back into the car while I threw myself in the front seat and swallowed a Vicadin.
Once home, I quickly stashed the cold items and just as quickly forgot about the nonperishables. I placed Gabriel on a spread out blanket on the floor with about all his toys, changed him, put a movie in Mariah’s VCR and another in the living room DVD player, gave her a snack and collapsed on the couch with my heating pad and a book. Both kids behaved like angels while I willed my body to ease up and the Vicadin to SPEED up. Gabriel was content to sit on the floor in front of me and laugh at his sister running around making a puppy “fly”.
It’s almost five hours later and I’m still in pain.
Which is why Mariah and I are having pizza rolls for supper. I’m still cramping so DON’T JUDGE ME. It’s what she picked, dammit.
And it’s delicious.
So there.
I’m so mature.